I am very happy to be writing to you again. I hope you all are good. I am sincerely so sorry to be MIA again and again.. but in this post I am going to tell you what is really going on with me for the last years.
Now.. I’m going to be straight forward. The reason why I have been and still am very inconsistent is that I am struggling with anxiety. I am in this constant battle with my thoughts for 3 and a half years, which unfortunately also led to depression. I have definitely had my ups and downs throughout these years, but lately I am struggling again. I am not writing this for extra attention and I don’t want you to feel pity for me or anything like that, but I just thought that I owe you an explanation for all these times that I could not live up to my words. I am saying that because I simply just did not want to write or film something just for the sake of it when I was feeling down, because I did not wanted to bring you something dull or boring.
Now, don’t get me wrong I absolutely LOVE writing and filming for you, but I don’t want to create bad content for you. I am not getting to much into details for now, maybe I’ll leave that for another post or maybe a video telling you more about my journey with mental health.
As I said, I hope that you guys are feeling well and are doing very good, and I want you to know that I am here for you, sending all the good energy towards you. If any of you need anything or need someone to talk to about things that you have been struggling with, feel free to dm me. I will try my best to offer you my advice or to just simply be there for you. Until then, I will see you next time in my next post.
I have just arrived from Uni and while I was walking home I started thinking about something that I have been struggling with lately. But before that, I want to ask you a simple question:
I don’t know about you but I have personally thought about this a lot in the last month, because as I said in my last makeup tutorial, I have just started Uni and a lot of things have changed. Now I have a lot more time only for myself and the constant thinking about this new routine that I am going to have in the next 3 years is making me feeling a bit lost if I can say it like that.
Now that I have different colleagues and I have to initiate new relationships, I realise that it is not as easy as it seemed in highschool. There are sometimes when I think that I am too quiet or when I talk, I only say stupid things. Or too serious, or my face and body aren’t traditionally attractive or even pleasant.
I think it is really hard to have this constant feeling of not fitting in in a new environment. I suppose I can only hope that time will make things get easier. What are your thoughts about this topic? Have you ever felt this way, and if so, leave some advice in the comments section.
I personally relaxed all day and enjoyed the first real snow here in my city. I was so impressed by the teeny-tiny snowflakes that showed up in the afternoon and completely changed the atmosphere of the surroundings, that later on turned into a really gorgeous snowblanket which transformed everything into a white fairytale. I have waited the whole month of December for a good snowfall to approach us and now it’s finally here. I don’t know about you but I am really happy about this weather even though I am a little bit sick.
Even tough this weather gives me a relaxed feeling, I certainly think that in those moments we think more about the problems and the concerns that we have. I am completely sure that every single person on this planet had concerning thoughts about his/her future at least one time. I can say that I am one of those people too. How about you?
“Am I gonna fail? Am I gonna be successful? Am I gonna rely on others? Am I gonna be independent? Am I gonna be poor? Am I gonna have a good wealth ? “
If you have ever asked yourself one of the questions from the above then you are one of them too. But is it a real problem if you are thinking about your future, if you are insecure? Well, it’s not. It’s completely normal. You want to build a happy and successful live so that’s why you are so concerned.
The real problem starts when you are overthinking about it. Some people think so much about their future that they forget to live in the present. Thinking too much about future is definitely bad. Well , if you want to know why, future is unpredictable. I mean, you do have control under you and your person, but this means that you need to find out what makes you happy and what you are passionate about. The thing is about you trying to divert your mind. Do something you love!
Believe me, nothing can ever trouble you if you start enjoying what you do. Remember, diverting your mind is not running away from the problem. It is a way of facing it because, going against the storm is not a wise thing to do if you want to survive.
So, as a conclusion, the best thing that we all need to do is simply living every moment that we are going through and do things that will help you to build the future that you are dreaming of. YOU are the leader of your progress and your own life.